Becoming Safely Embodied by MSW Deirdre Fay

Author:MSW, Deirdre Fay [MSW, Deirdre Fay]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Morgan James Publishing
Published: 2021-03-09T00:00:00+00:00

EXERCISE: WHAT’S ANXIETY LIKE IN THE BODY?

To illustrate the preceding points, let’s explore the sensation of anxiety, a common state for many. What sensations are present in your body when you’re anxious?

To give you a bit of prompting, the list generally includes fast heartbeat, butterflies, muscle constriction, difficulty breathing, shallow breathing, muscle movements, and agitation.

Now compare those notions of anxiety to excitement. If I were to ask you, “What sensations do you experience when you are excited?” Generally, most people cite muscle impulses, butterflies, rapid heart rate, shallow breathing, and agitation.

So, I wonder with you, what’s different?

The answer is: The context and association—the label placed on the cluster of sensations. Until we learn to distinguish individual sensations, feeling numb and having shallow breathing will be the stimulus to anxiety, inciting us to keep our distance from experience, rather than viewing it as an opportunity for deeper self-examination.

Jessica consistently had an experience of being shut down, saying, “I really struggle with identifying my feelings. When I slow down . . . I just notice that I feel numb. And I think maybe this is because I am being so overwhelmed, my body shuts down.” Over time, with practice, she came to realize, “Dropping into my experience wasn’t easy. I never knew what to expect. I didn’t know what would be there, and often it felt like there was nothing. I would feel numb or shut down. Deirdre suggested I watch how I would subtlety dismiss a thought, feeling, or sensation, or avoid it completely—not wanting to get any closer to it. I began to practice making room for everything, slowly and gently, welcoming whatever was there, and in this case, it was often numbness. I started acknowledging the state, the experience I was in: ‘OK, I’m numb everywhere.’ Deirdre would ask me to explore further, ‘Is your earlobe numb? What do the hair follicles in your left eyebrow feel? What happens when you touch it? Does it feel like something’s there? Can you feel yourself squeezing it?’ I began to see that there were many places in my body that weren’t numb. That gave me courage to explore a bit further, ‘Is my jaw numb?’ I would touch it. I would explore what it felt like from the outside, using my fingers, and notice what was happening inside when my fingers were touching it outside. I began to realize that not everything was numb. I could differentiate where I felt numb and opened to realizing there were parts of my body that felt alive, easy, relaxed—even at peace. Now I ask myself: ‘What does numb feel like? What is the experience of being numb? When I’m numb, what are the thoughts I have? What are the feelings I’m having? What are the body sensations? How long does numbness last? Is the numbness everywhere? Where does it start and stop? Can you expand or shrink the numbness?’ I’ve been grateful to get to know my body in this way, dropping the labels I have.

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